In this article I wanted to address another ‘taboo’ area, to help us open up difficult dialogues around the subject of ‘daily drinking’, and when do you know that it is starting to spiral out of control?
Drinking, and the effects.
Mine’s A Large Glass!
Picture this:
You’re scrolling through your camera roll, and you notice something curious. In every other photo, there you are smiling, social, and yes… holding a glass. Red wine at dinner, prosecco with friends, a G&T in the garden. You start to wonder is this my signature accessory? Welcome to the world of “grey area” drinking that blurry space between the odd glass for pleasure, and drinking that quietly becomes part of your daily routine. It’s not necessarily a problem, but it’s worth paying attention to, especially for us as midlife women.
Grey area drinking isn’t about being “an alcoholic” or “sober curious.” It’s that middle ground where drinking feels like a habit, rather than a conscious choice. You’re not falling-down drunk or hiding bottles behind the cereal boxes but you might find that wine o’clock has crept earlier, or that Friday night bubbles are now more of a Tuesday thing.For many women, alcohol has long been the reward, the punctuation mark at the end of a long, exhausting day. “I’ve survived work, family, and life I’ve earned this.” And let’s be honest there’s comfort in that ritual. The first sip can feel like exhaling after holding your breath, and a sense of separating from the chaos in your mind.
‘’Alcohol Change UK found that women who drank 15-34 units a week, 1 in 4 reported depression, and one in three reported anxiety – significantly higher than among non-drinkers.’’
The Cocktail of Midlife
Midlife brings enough change without throwing too much alcohol into the hormonal mix. As oestrogen dips, our tolerance shifts too and those couple of glasses can have a bigger impact than they once did. Poor sleep, fuzzy mornings, low mood, anxiety spikes… sound familiar? Also that 650 calories in that bottle of Prosecco could be the reason why you never shift that ‘meno-belly’ ! And let’s not forget the emotional side.
I have heard many of us describe using wine as a “buffer” to relax, to connect, or to soften feelings of loneliness, stress, or the “meh” of midlife. It works temporarily. But the next morning’s sluggishness, guilt, or irritability can quietly chip away at confidence, and wellbeing. There is a reason why it’s called ‘hangxity’ and the way the alcohol elevates any anxiety you may normally experience to the next level as it leaves your system.
Of course ‘grey area’ drinking can be progressive, and for some the habit can turn into a dependency. I read a recent interview with TV presenter, Ulrika Jonnson’s who celebrated a year of sobriety this June. She admitted to drinking for the wrong reasons, to numb her ‘crippling anxiety, to escape, to disappear and extinguish my self-loathing.’ She talks about how ‘’I wasn’t cut out for life‘’ and she recalls how alcohol became her coping mechanism. ‘’I wanted the full anaesthetic effect … I just wanted the feelings to stop.‘’
Since starting her sober journey she has found a ‘spiritual awakening and an inner peace’, however she does admit how hard it was to let go of this coping mechanism. Ulrika’s story is one of courage, to have a moment of self realization and then take the steps, however difficult it was to embrace a new way of doing life. Although grey-area drinking is not always a reason to stop, it might be a reason to reflect. The more we understand why we do, what we do, the better we can make the choices, that give us the most joy, and lead a life that feels totally present.
This article isn’t about igniting guilt in us it’s about stimulating curiosity. Grey area drinking isn’t always obvious, which is what makes it so slippery. Checking in with yourself isn’t a moral judgement; it’s an act of self-respect.
So next time someone says, “Fancy a drink?” pause and check in. If the answer’s yes, savour it. If it’s no, that’s perfectly fine too. Either way, make sure the decision feels like yours not just a habit you’ve slipped into. And if you notice that wine glass is making more cameos in your selfies than your friends are, it might just be time to give your liver and your mind a little love.
