‘Fall in love with yourself, with life, and then with whoever you want.’
Frida Kahlo
I thought I knew who Frida Kahlo was. Of course, I had heard the name of the unconventional beauty, the ambassador of Mexican colourful culture to the world, the woman with the most unlikely love story. This was more or less all the information I had about her before I visited the quaint exhibition currently showing in the cultural heart of Istanbul—Ataturk Cultural Centre. But how little that was!
Since most of her artwork consisted of self-portraits, I had always assumed that she must have been a self-absorbed individualist whose lifelong aim was to stamp her image on this world. I used to believe she painted self-portraits because she was in love with herself. This turned out to be true but also quite false.
As soon as I entered the exhibition, it felt like I was in her head. In the pages of her diary when she was at prep school, I found that she asked herself the same questions I did when I was a teenager: Who am I? Am I the only one who feels so different? Am I bound to be alone forever?
Just like me, she fell in love with a boy who didn’t care about how he looked. He was interested in the inner world, the unsubstantial matters. And Frida, being Frida, she loved love, she loved life, and she loved him.
‘Since I saw you, I have loved you’. Isn’t this exactly how love works? It is either there all at once, or it never spurs. Isn’t it just us who are sometimes blindfolding ourselves and pretending that we don’t see it? Or worse – that it is there when, in fact, it has never been?
The next part of the exhibition was a shrine to her love for Diego Rivera. It poured from the pages of her diary in the form of letters, poems, and short texts. Synthesised in a few brief lines, I read her wise words that took me years to arrive at on my own:
‘I realize that you were never mine, you are not anyone’s, you are only Diego’s.’
‘with you, I am able to be as I am, I feel not judged.’
‘I do not say I can do everything, but I will be able to do it for you. Do everything.’
Because what is love if it is not unconditional? If you love, you do it with every fiber of your being, and you love every little bit of the other. Most importantly, you love them and let them be who they are. No judgment is needed or allowed. In fact, you give them the space to become the best version of themselves. And you? You are simply happy they exist, walking on the same earth, breathing the same air, and looking at the same sky.
As you may have guessed already, this wasn’t an exhibition of Frida’s paintings. It was a glimpse into her heart. And her poor heart had had to suffer quite a lot. I was finally getting it. She was not the drama queen I had thought her to be. She lived to love despite the harrowing physical challenges fate threw at her. For a significant portion of her life, she had to endure excruciating pain. It is a sheer miracle she achieved so much despite that.
Her self-portraits resulted from spending time alone, examining herself, trying to transcend the pain, and managing to create a rich, fierce life in defiance of her ailments. What else is one supposed to do if they are confined to bed or a chair for such long periods of time? Her art was her lifeline. The flowers were her hope, and the colors were her dreams. ‘Passion is the bridge that takes you from pain to change.’ she wrote.
An idealist, Frida believed in utopian communist ideas, not unlike many artists of her time. She imagined a world of peace and harmony, a world without pain and suffering. As with everything else, she threw all her creative energy to support these ideals. But above all, till her very end she continued to love – herself, life, and Diego.
The exhibition ends with four digitized photos of Frida. Spiffed with AI so that she moves like in a video, it feels as if she is brought to life in all her candor—her messy self, vulnerable but frank, a raw heart out in the open for everyone to see. And see, you should because you will be looking in a mirror. And perhaps, like me, you will find that you are not alone, you have never been alone.
The Diary of Frida Kahlo exhibition can be seen till March 23, 2025 at Ataturk Cultural Center in Istanbul, Turkey. Tickets prices are 350tl (about 10 euro) for adults and 200tl for students.
Photo: Frida Kahlo Self Portrait; Exhibition Images by Gery Ciftcioglu; Exhibition Banner AI
