Christmas is often described as magical, the smell of good food, the warmth of family, the laughter flowing from rooms where generations reconnect.
But for many women, especially those navigating perimenopause or menopause, the festive season brings something else, pressure, emotional overload, and family dynamics that can quickly drain rather than replenish.
As a menopause coach, I see this every year. Women tell me they feel responsible for creating the “perfect” Christmas while battling symptoms like anxiety, low mood, fatigue, sleep disruption, and hot flushes. Add family expectations, unsolicited questions, and the weight of unspoken responsibilities, and Christmas can feel more like an emotional marathon than a celebration.
This year, I want women to step into the holidays differently with boundaries, compassion, and a clear understanding of what they need to protect their wellbeing.
Start With Your Own Needs First
Women are often conditioned to hold everything together, especially at Christmas. But you are allowed to prioritise your emotional and physical wellness.
Before stepping into any gathering, ask yourself:
- What topics are off limits for me this year?
- What conversations will I gently redirect?
- What am I choosing not to explain, justify, or defend?
Planning your boundaries is not negative, it is self-care. It allows you to show up fully without sacrificing your peace.
One powerful way to set the tone is to model the conversations you do want to have. A simple opening like, “I’ve been focusing on my health this year and making a few changes,” invites connection without pressure.
Supportive Questions Build Supportive Families
During menopause, sensitivity to criticism or judgment increases, and unhelpful questions can sting.
Instead of:
- “When are you settling down?”
- “Why are you still single?”
- “Don’t you want more children?”
Families can ask:
- “How have you been looking after yourself lately?”
- “What’s been bringing you joy recently?”
- “What are you excited about in the new year?”
It’s not about avoiding personal conversations it’s about leading with care, not interrogation.
Whether someone is recently single, navigating menopause silently, or part of the LGBTQ+ community, the Christmas table must be a place of safety.
Here’s how families can make everyone feel seen and included:
- Respect relationships equally.
- Avoid commenting on bodies, weight, or appearance.
- Never quiz someone about breakups, dating life, or fertility.
Healthy Conversations without Judgment
Christmas can be a beautiful time to talk about wellbeing, but choose gentleness.
Try:
- “I’ve been learning about bone health lately it’s been eye-opening.”
- “I’m trying to add more movement to feel stronger, not to change my body.”
Share your experience, never someone else’s choices.
When Boundaries Are Tested
If someone crosses a line, here are calm and firm responses:
- “I appreciate you asking, but I’m not discussing that today.”
- “That’s personal, and I’m keeping it private.”
- “Let’s move on to something else.”
You can say this warmly, but you must still say it. Real peace includes your comfort and your dignity.
The Heart of Christmas
Christmas should be a place where women can rest, breathe, and feel held, not judged or overwhelmed. When families communicate with kindness and remember that every woman is carrying something, we create gatherings filled with compassion, not pressure.
This year, ask yourself:
What boundaries are you honouring?
What conversations are you shaping differently?
What do you need to feel emotionally well this Christmas?
Your wellbeing matters and not just in January. It matters now.
