I wanted to reach out to those of you who will be missing their father on Father’s Day. I share your feelings of loss and felt that it would be worth writing this article for those of us who feel a quiet ache on Father’s Day for our dads’ who are no longer here.
It can be a difficult time with the shelves are stacked with Father’s Day cards, those cheery adverts beaming out images of barbecues and family lunches, and the world seems to assume that everyone still has a dad to call, visit, or grumble about. But for some of us, Father’s Day is less about celebration and more about remembrance.
Grief has a strange way of sneaking up on you — especially on days like these. It might be years since you said goodbye, or maybe it’s still fresh. Either way, the space they once held can feel bigger on days when they’re meant to be centre stage.
But loss doesn’t mean the love disappears. If anything, the memories take on even more meaning. The way they laughed at their own jokes before anyone else could. The phrase they always used. The stories they told again and again. Maybe it’s the smell of their aftershave, the clink of ice in a glass, or the advice they gave that you only now realise was actually quite wise.
These moments become part of us. And on Father’s Day, it can help to pause and honour them — not just the sadness of what’s gone, but the richness of what was. So to help mark the day perhaps light a candle, or play that song he loved. Tell one of his old jokes (even if it was awful). Cook his favourite dinner. Go for a walk in the place he liked best. Or simply sit for a moment and remember the way it felt to be with him.
And if your relationship was complicated, that’s valid too. You can honour someone’s memory without pretending it was perfect. Grief can hold both love and frustration, admiration and absence.
The important thing is to give yourself space — not to ‘move on’, but to carry on with love. Because even though he’s gone, what he gave you — the stories, the strength, the humour, the quirks — those stay. They shape you still.
So this Father’s Day, if you’re remembering your dad rather than seeing him, know this: you’re not alone. And it’s okay to feel whatever you feel — sadness, gratitude, pride, or even a smile through tears.
He may not be here. But he’s part of your story. And that, in its own quiet way, is something worth celebrating.
