I seem to have found my forever home in a not-so-quiet area of Reading in the UK. But let’s face it, there’s a certain breed of us who can’t seem to stay put. We’re the ones with chronically itchy feet, who dream of moving every few years. Before children, I used to be one of those women. Somewhere deep down, I still am. I’ve packed up my life more times than I care to count – from Israel at 18, to Holland at 22, to a brief Californian adventure in 2007, before finally “settling” (whatever that means) in leafy South London in 2008, where I lived until 2 years ago.
If you’re reading this, perhaps you too feel that restless tingle in your soles. Maybe you’re contemplating your first big move, or perhaps you’re a seasoned nomad looking for solidarity. Either way, grab a cuppa and let me share what I’ve learned about the art of uprooting one’s life with minimal emotional damage and maximum adventure.
Embrace Minimalism
The first time I moved abroad, I was 18, I wondered if I’d ever sleep in my childhood bedroom again. I distinctly remember sitting on my suitcase in Tel Aviv, sweating profusely at silly o’clock in the morning, wondering why I thought I needed 12 pairs jeans, 6 pairs of high heels and my childhood teddy bear collection. Luckily some guys who were on the same plane came to the rescue! I stayed in touch with them (as you do at that age) and came to hear about the weight of my suitcases quite a few more times.
While as an artist I’m a bit of a hoarder, by the time I moved to London, I had mastered the art of minimalism when moving. Here’s my rule of thumb: if you haven’t used it in six months and it doesn’t make your heart sing when you look at it, bin it, donate it, or set it on fire (safely, of course). Never have I ever burnt pictures of my exes…
The Three-Pile System
When packing for an international move, create three piles:
1. Essential: Items you genuinely need for survival and work, like your laptop.
2. Joy: Things that bring you genuine happiness (not just “might be useful someday”)
3. Rubbish: Everything else
I remember leaving the TV on the staircase of our tiny one bed flat in Amsterdam before leaving. We spent the next 10 years living without a TV and our lives were better for it.
Digital Minimalism
Before my California stint, I spent weeks scanning important documents and photos. Now everything lives in the cloud. Physical photos? Digitised. Books? On my Kindle (though I only buy books on paper for the children, they get digital detox).
Finding a Moving Company That Won’t Hold Your Belongings Hostage
When my husband and I moved to the UK, we used a relocation company that shall remain nameless. The package included things like finding us a rental in London and coordinating and moving our belongings. This meant that we could bring some of the furniture my Dutchie had amassed as a student. Suffice is to say, we lived in an empty flat for a few months.
The next few times I asked friends for recommendations of movers. But if you don’t know anyone who has moved recently, take some time to research the company you’re going to hire. A quick google search reveals local movers if you’re moving in the same town or country (many of whom at least in London will call back as soon as you ask for a free quote online – I know, I’ve done it, you gotta compare your quotes) as well as international companies like Three Movers, who have a nice site with lots of reviews and a great about page, which shows a personal approach and lists their team with photos.
Learn from my mistakes:
Research Your Relocation Company Like Your Life Depends On It
Because it sort of does. Look for companies with:
– At least 10 years in business
– Specific experience with your destination country
– Insurance that actually covers what you need
– Good Reviews, check various review sites —not just their own.
Get Everything in Writing
People tend to overpromise and under deliver. Get a detailed inventory, explicit timeline, and comprehensive quote in writing. Are they going to carry the boxes up to the top floor? Will they put the furniture back together? Having an agreement in writing can save a small fortune and a lot of misery.
Integration: How Not to Be That Lonely Expat at the Pub
Say Yes to People
When I first arrived in Holland, I said yes to every invitation—pottery class in East Dulwich? Sure! Underground jazz night Rotterdam? Why not!
Some experiences were brilliant, others were awkward (turns out I really don’t like jazz), but saying yes opens doors.
Make the First Step and Don’t be Judgemental
In Israel it was easy, everybody is from somewhere, so people accept foreigners and make friends quickly. I fitted right in. In Amsterdam it was the polar opposite, people are more individualistic and don’t mix much, so you need to put considerable effort to make friends with the locals. In the UK, people are lovely, warm and just the right level of friendly.
The one thing, that made it easy for me to make friendships that last a lifetime in all three countries was making the first step with people. Making a first step in any new relationship is hard! So if people already have their family and circle of friends, they won’t make the first step with you. You’re the newcomer, you’ll need to work out what local culture is like, you need to ask people for a coffee, or dinner, you need to pick up the phone and call.
In London, I was a grown up, so I joined a few networking organisations. The secret to networking is consistency- show up regularly, follow up and for us women friendship often will follow. I’m still friends with some of the women I met at networking events 15 years ago!
Building a Support Network
In each country, I’ve created what I call my “emergency contacts” – women I could call at 3 AM if needed and they’d show up for me. These relationships take time to build, but they’re essential. Start by being that person for others, and you’ll find it comes back to you.
Embrace Technology, But Don’t Hide Behind It
Apps like Meetup and Facebook are brilliant for finding events and meeting people. However, once you’re there, put your phone away. You’ll not make friends in a crowded event while staring at your screen.
Learn the Local Language (Even Badly)
My Dutch is atrocious, and I didn’t need it much because everyone in Holland speaks English. But after a few drinks Dutch people will often switch to Dutch anyway… I’m fluent in English and my Hebrew used to be pretty good, while I spoke it daily.
The Practicalities
Banking Across Borders
Setting up a bank account without a permanent address is like trying to nail jelly to a wall. In Holland, I used my employer’s address temporarily. In London, I used a service called Wise (formerly TransferWise) until I sorted proper banking.
Healthcare Systems
Each country’s healthcare system seems specifically designed to confuse foreigners (and annoy locals). Research healthcare requirements before arriving, and consider international health insurance for the transition period. Find health practitioners you can trust.
Tax Nightmares
If you run a business, find an accountant who specialises in expat taxes as well as business.
Homesickness Hits When You Least Expect It
I was fine during my first Christmas away from home, I celebrated with some Bulgarians in Israel, where as you imagine, Christmas isn’t really a big thing. Five years on, I found myself randomly crying on the street in Rotterdam, on the way home from uni. Homesickness is sneaky like that.
Create rituals that connect you to home. I still buy Bulgarian foods and coffee regularly online, and I maintain some traditions no matter where I live.
Almost every expat I know hits a wall at some point. The initial excitement wears off, and reality sets in. Push through this period, it almost always gets better.
Living in a foreign country isn’t always easy. You’ll miss birthdays, weddings, and those small everyday moments with loved ones. You’ll sometimes question your choices while struggling with foreign bureaucracy or feeling lonely.
But you’ll also experience the extraordinary privilege of calling multiple places home, of understanding different perspectives firsthand, and of creating a life rich with diverse experiences.
After all these moves, I’ve learned that home isn’t necessarily a place—it’s a feeling you create wherever you land. Home really is where the heart is.
So pack light, research thoroughly, say yes often, make the first step and remember: the best adventures often start with a one-way ticket and no idea what you’re doing.
