I wanted to share some knowledge that I have found has really started to help me in my relationship with my body, in hopes it may help some of you. I have always loved having a massage, one of my indulgences and part of my ‘me-time’ routine. However one day my massage therapist said to me ‘just relax’, and I realised that I was struggling to do this simple request. It started me thinking about what was going on with me. Was this something I was choosing to pretend I could do, but in effect my body just didn’t know how to ‘relax’.
If you’ve ever been told to “just relax” when you’re anxious or overwhelmed, you’ll know how utterly useless that advice can feel. But what if I found out was there’s a biological pathway — hardwired into your body — that’s actually built to help you reset, calm down, and feel safe again. This is the vagus nerve, our very own secret reset button.
What is the vagus nerve
The vagus nerve (named after the Latin word for “wandering”) is the longest cranial nerve in the body, running from your brainstem all the way down to your gut. It’s a key part of the parasympathetic nervous system — the one responsible for “rest and digest” functions — and it plays a major role in regulating our stress response.
When the vagus nerve is working well, it helps lower heart rate, reduce inflammation, calm digestion, and most importantly, it signals to the brain that you’re safe. When it’s under active or blocked, we can feel stuck in “fight or flight” mode — jumpy, irritable, tense, and exhausted. I often work with clients, who like me had never heard of the vagus nerve, but they’ve definitely felt its absence. They live in a state of chronic stress, anxiety, or emotional reactivity, never quite being able to switch off. But the good news is that we can address these symptoms through strengthening our vagus nerve, and like a muscle, it responds to regular, gentle stimulation.
I got so interested in the power of the vagus nerve, that I also started to read around the topic, and found a great book called ‘The Vagus Nerve Reset’ by Anna Ferguson. It is a great read if you would like to learn more, and incorporate it into your own self-care routine.
Vagus Nerve Stimulation
Here are a few simple, at-home exercises that I have tried and now recommend for you to try;
1. Deep, slow breathing – Especially with a long exhale. Try inhaling for four counts, exhaling for six. This signals safety to your nervous system.
2. Humming or chanting – The vibration stimulates the vagus nerve (yes, singing in the car counts).
3. Cold water exposure – Splashing your face with cold water or a brief cold shower can “shock” the system back into calm.
4. Gargling – Another way to activate the muscles at the back of the throat and stimulate the nerve.
5. Laughter – Real or even forced laughter can reduce stress and help regulate the nervous system. My favourites are Friday Night Dinner & Amandaland for a good belly laugh !
6. Mindfulness and meditation – These help cultivate awareness and down-regulate the body’s stress response over time. Try the Calm or Headspace Apps they are really great to guide you into a good meditation practice.
What I love most about the vagus nerve is that it gives us agency. It’s a reminder that we’re not at the mercy of our stress. That there are small, daily things we can do to feel better — not just mentally, but physically too.
So if you’re feeling frazzled, frozen, or overwhelmed, know this: your body is trying to help you. The vagus nerve is there, quietly waiting, ready to reset — all you have to do is give it a little nudge and just relax!
