A 2025 study published in Menopause, the journal of The Menopause Society, found that women experienced more severe irritability, impatience during the early menopause transition in Perimenopause.
The researchers pointed out that while depression during menopause has been widely studied, women’s experiences of anger and irritability have received far less attention.
I think we need to have much bigger conversations about this, because I hear in my work as a Menopause Coaching Specialist the impact this can have on a clients wellbeing.
Perimenopause often arrives at a point in a woman’s life when she’s already carrying an enormous load. Dr Libby Weaver calls it Rushing Women’s Syndrome doing two jobs at once, one at work and one in the home. From juggling work, children and ageing parent plus relationships, health and life admin. Plus that invisible mental load of remembering what everybody needs, where everybody needs to be and what needs to happen next.
Then along comes perimenopause. The symptoms from this experience can cause a cascade of stress from lack of sleep, low energy and a changing body.
Perimenopause isn’t just happening to our reproductive system. It’s happening in the brain too. It’s a neuroendocrine transition. Our changing hormones interact with brain systems involved in things like mood, stress and emotional regulation.
It’s a combination of hormones, brain, nervous system, rushing women syndrome and what is taking place in your life.
If anger and irritability have become part of your perimenopause experience, here are three places I’d start:
- Find a nervous system regulation tool that works for you.
Walking, meditation, moving your body, breathwork through to finding a rage sport, binaural beats, running and taking time for yourself. In my work with women, I love using Tapping such as EFT and Rapid Tapping.
With tapping, we acknowledge how we’re actually feeling out loud while tapping on acupressure points on the body. This can help calm the stress response and gives us space to process what we’re feeling, rather than suppressing it or trying to think our way out of it. You can learn how to do this at home to support yourself in those moments.
- If your symptoms are impacting your life, speak to your medical team.
If your anger and symptoms are impacting your life then make an appointment with your medical team. You do not need to suffer in silence. Tell them what’s happening. Talk about your symptoms. Ask questions. Understand your options and make informed choices about what feels right for you. A CBT Therapist and Menopause Coach can also help you with strategies and support.
- Get curious about what’s underneath the anger.
This is such a big part of my work as a Menopause Coaching Specialist. Because when I work with women and we begin to explore what’s underneath the stress and anger, we often find there’s more going on.
A boundary that’s been crossed too many times. A past experience that shaped what you believe about yourself. Or maybe a belief and pattern quietly playing in the background:
I call these beliefs running underneath it all your Belief Soundtrack®.
So yes, let’s understand the hormones and what’s happening in the perimenopausal brain. Also let’s look at the nervous system, the stress, the mental load, the beliefs and the woman carrying all of it.
Because perhaps the question isn’t only: Why am I so angry? Perhaps we also need to ask: What is my anger trying to tell me?
Joanne Fiddy is a Speaker, Menopause Coaching Specialist and host of the Pressing Play Podcast, finding women in the pause and helping them press play. To find out more and to book a session www.jofiddy.com
Source: Woods NF & Mitchell ES (2025), Menopause, The Menopause Society. DOI: 10.1097/GME.0000000000002570.
